Friday, April 25, 2008

Drunken Monkey - Part I

When I typed *Part I* in the title, I myself got angry on me. I said, I would continue the Tale Of Two Friends but I couldn't for some good reasons. Likewise, i say in many of my blogs that I would talk more about the topic, but I never did. Sorry for this. Let me try to keep up with my wishes. Lets dive into the blog.

Well, I am not saying drunken people are monkeys, if I would say that, then it would directly affect most of my closest friends (and who knows, in future, it may even refer to me ;) ). It is the name of a Jackie Chan's movie. But this post is about people whom I think are monkeys or even worse, when they behave in a disgusting manner.

Worrying about various things, I got into KPN bus, so sophisticated and so called A\C Volvo and so much costlier, with the hope that I would have a peaceful sleep. Suddenly a group of young lads (I am quite sure, they are software engineers), who are so desperate to be noticed, got into the bus with much noise. Usually I don't give a shit about those nuisance making non-sense people. But to my best bad luck, one of those monkeys came near my seat and I realized that he is going to sit in my adjacent seat.

Bull shit! he was drunk and it smelled like a septic tank. I got so irritated that I scolded him in my mind (hehe... this time, it would make his uncle's grandmother's brother-in-law's grandmother squirm in their graveyard) and tried to close my eyes and sleep. In a moment, he shouted, "machan! come on da... lets have a fag... otherwise, my mouth will feel itching". What the heck?!? You bloody ******** (whatever you like, you could paste here), I thought.

He is not going to become like a hero if he announces to be a drinker-smoker-****er. If he wanted to smoke, let him smoke and die... If he wanted to drink septic tank, let him go and drink it and die. But why the heck there are people, who take the rights to disturb public? And that too, when they are going to travel in a public transport? I don't understand that. But I learned a lesson that day.

If at all I am going to be a smoker or a drinker, I would make 100% sure that, I wont drink or shout in the public transport to mark my presence (and try to be a hero). It is because, there will be people around, who would scold such people so hard that, his parents, siblings, relatives, grand parents, in-laws, etc would feel very bad if they come to know that they were referred to such bad things because of the mistake they dint do.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Accidents - Unavoidable.

Equipped with Apache, I was driving at 75 kmph in the Electronic City road of Bangalore. No traffic... so no worry. It has disk brake, and decent control at less than 80 kmph. Suddenly, a son-of-a-***** (I hate bad words), out of thin air, came in his bike, crossing the road. I saw him and started to blow horn applying both the brakes. I almost hit him, doing a stunt, but managed not to fall down. Scolding him in mind that would make his grand mother's grand mother's grand father's grand mother squirm in the graveyard, I proceeded.

Had I been driving a little faster, or if I had lost the control, I would not have been in a position to write blogs (in a way to help you people :D ). The worse part is that, I was driving with my close friend. Because of a stupid SOB, my innocent friend could have been a history by this time. The worse part is that, I never used to drive faster. I have already met with accidents twice and so, I use to drive as cautiously as possible. But that day taught me a lesson: No matter what is going to happen if you go a 5 minutes or 10 minutes late, NEVER drive faster.

This could be the most cliched thing one could ever say. But, it is true. One day it will happen for anyone who rides a bike. There is no one I could see, who have not met with an accident, in a two-wheeler (if you jump to say that you have not met, be careful... you could be on the line).
There is nothing in the world which is more important than life (or your limbs). This is my policy: Everyone will meet with an accident (either small or a big or fatal) at least once in the life if they constantly use two-wheelers. We can only pray that, that is not a fatal one.

An accident is not always your mistake, that is why it is called an accident. It could be yours, or the other guy or a dog or a cat or a small stone or a small nail on the road... anything. I use to advice people not to drive faster. That day, I got a mood to drive faster and the God showed me a gate which he later closed it. Actually, I had the idea of writing this blog a long time ago when I advised my friend and he told *Don't I know that? I know da... even if I go at 80 kmph, I know my limit... bla bla bla*.

Do you ever think, of all the millions of people who died of an accident knew that they were gonna die? It happens all of the sudden. At least we should make sure, we are doing our part well. Of course, if a drunken driver, runs his lorry over us when we are walking on the side of the road, that situation is helpless. If you want to say, *Mind your business*, it is okay. At least have the courtesy for your friends or family coming in your vehicle. If you are alone, you have full rights to go at any speed and reach any where (destination or final destination), but if you have someone with you, please be careful.

Also, I am tired of looking at people having the helmet over the petrol tank. What the hell? Why do you people want to protect the petrol tank more than your head? Is it more valuable than your brain? or your lover? or your family? Bull shit. Also, some one would hold the helmet in their hands and drive. I get irritated by looking at them. May be they didn't see the manual of how to use the helmet.

Let me come to the point.
  1. Accidents are unavoidable. No matter how much carefully you go, you are eligible to get a through ticket through accidents. So, do your best to refuse the ticket. Wear Helmet.
  2. If you say, *But, my hair will recede if I wear helmet*, then great... let the world know that you respect your hair more than your life.
  3. If you think, you are the most expert driver in the entire universe, think of this. A simple nail on the road could puncture your tyre that could make you fall down and a simple hit on the head could get you ticket.
  4. If you have someone with you, you have no rights to risk their life. Drive slowly.
  5. If you are the one sitting at the back, you have 100% rights to demand the driver to drive slowly. If he\she does not hear that, you could better get down.
  6. If you think, it is very very rare and that you need not worry, I pity you, as when it is proved wrong in your case, you may not be in a position to re think about that.
  7. If you think that this blog is an utter bull shit, you are probably right as I know no soul in the world would change by reading such things, but I want to have a feeling that I did my part of warning you.
I want the readers of my blogs to come back again and again for that I want them to be alive for that I want to do something for that only I wrote the blog. Now, you can forget whatever you read here and do your routine things :)

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Six Legged Killers - A true incident.

Well, this blog is about a true incidence, which might have resulted in a serious damage to this world, but fortunately, it didn't happen. Could a cockroach kill well-built body-builders? Of course that is possible. Even mosquitoes could kill Achilles in this present world, why not cockroaches?

Make sure, your house is cockroaches-free. You might think that they are not so much of a threat to you or your family members. Let me tell you a story. One night, nature called me so urgently that I had to visit bathroom. It was dark and I was very sleepy. The moment I entered into the bathroom, someone touched my legs and started to move their fingers all over my leg, in a split second.

In utmost fear, yes, I got frightened, I just flailed my leg violently to get the thing off my legs. During the process, I just kicked the wall and got somewhat severely hurt. I just realized that, had the bathroom been wet, I would have got a sure ticket to heaven (he he... let me hope so) by getting slipped.

When I switched on the light to see, the ghost finger which fiddled on my legs, I was relieved to see that it was just a cockroach; no, it was not JUST a cockroach. It was a killer cockroach. It could have ended up killing me. I heard that many old people die in bathroom by slipping there. Who knows? May be a cockroach was the murderer in most of the cases?

So, the moral of the story is: keep your house clean from cockroaches, as a matter of fact, any insects which could do these kind of damage, but I think only cockroaches are active insects in nights; and if that is almost impossible, be ready for anything when you go to bathrooms in night. Keep your heart like a steel or you may end in having a cold heart.