[Description: This post contains very offensive content. If at any point of time you think that you may be offended, you can stop reading this post. I wont want any of my visitors to get offended or hurt. Readers' discretion is required.]
[You can safely skip to the next paragraph to start reading the actual content. I feel disappointed about myself to have broken the self commitment I have made a long time ago, twice within five months in this year... I committed that I would write at least one blog per month and I have failed due to my recent change in my lifestyle. I wish and promise that I will do my best to keep the commitment at least from this month.]
The amount of attention and care my five months old nephew needs has made me to realize that one of the greatest injustices the parents can do to a child is to (first) give birth to it and continue to do their own business (or work). I use to advice my friends that 'after marriage one of the parent should quit their job or business and be a full time parent'. I use to get two kinds of reply. To think much of it, I use to get three kinds of reply.
One of the replies is that, 'Yes da... it should be the case'. It may be a sincere reply or just a reply to escape from my mokka. The second type of reply is that 'Yes, it should be the case, but, what would you do if your wife denies to quit and continue to go to work? Will you quit?'. Not for the sake of 'I am in an argument and I have to do anything to win it', but the honest-at-that-moment reply from me would be 'Yes!'. And this would immediately go to (a more) cliche discussion of 'Then you will have absolutely no respect... bla... bla... bla...'
Coming to think of it, it is a stupid reply. A child needs its mother more than its father, at least for an year. A child should have nothing other than milk for the first six months and it should NOT even have water! In case of summer the child can be fed a little water. And for one year it is recommended to be fed from the mother with other food items also. I am just wondering how mothers get back to work in 3 or 4 months after the maternity leave. As soon as the child wakes up from sleep, it needs its mother. It cries till it sees its mother. What kind of an excuse do working women give to leave their new born child and go to work? Will they tell "Hmm... it is boring to be in house. I want to kill time"? Of course, they wont tell this blatantly and will usually cover this with more appealing logical statements.
The third kind of reply I get is "With the salary from one person, it is tough to raise a family". What a sweet reply! What does it mean to raise a family? To have a wife/husband and a kid (or kids)? The definition of raising a family stops just when the child is born. In my opinion, it should start after the child is born. Both parents leaving at 9 o'clock and coming back by 5 o'clock and then kissing and hugging the new born child seems disgusting, obscene and despicable. It is at least acceptable when the child is grown and is ready to go to school.
If you can't do that due to financial problem, it just means that you are not yet ready to raise a family. A child who spends its time with either of its parents in a 2BHK would have a fulfilling life than a child who scarcely sees its both parent together in a 3BHK. A child who can only afford Maggi noodles often but being with its parent more would have a fulfilling life than a child who can afford Pizza Hut pizza often but not their parents time. If it is the other case, where the child needs more of the goods than its dad and mother then there is a serious problem in bringing up the child, isn't it?
Thinking more in this subject, I think "I am working very hard to give my child a quality life" is either a lie or stupidity. I sometimes wonder whether people have an intrinsic desire for luxurious items for themselves and they just point-finger their child or married life or retired parents... Well... I want to write more on this topic but my quota for one post was over a long back. If time/mood/situation/courage permits, I would continue in this topic.
[You can safely skip to the next paragraph to start reading the actual content. I feel disappointed about myself to have broken the self commitment I have made a long time ago, twice within five months in this year... I committed that I would write at least one blog per month and I have failed due to my recent change in my lifestyle. I wish and promise that I will do my best to keep the commitment at least from this month.]
The amount of attention and care my five months old nephew needs has made me to realize that one of the greatest injustices the parents can do to a child is to (first) give birth to it and continue to do their own business (or work). I use to advice my friends that 'after marriage one of the parent should quit their job or business and be a full time parent'. I use to get two kinds of reply. To think much of it, I use to get three kinds of reply.
One of the replies is that, 'Yes da... it should be the case'. It may be a sincere reply or just a reply to escape from my mokka. The second type of reply is that 'Yes, it should be the case, but, what would you do if your wife denies to quit and continue to go to work? Will you quit?'. Not for the sake of 'I am in an argument and I have to do anything to win it', but the honest-at-that-moment reply from me would be 'Yes!'. And this would immediately go to (a more) cliche discussion of 'Then you will have absolutely no respect... bla... bla... bla...'
Coming to think of it, it is a stupid reply. A child needs its mother more than its father, at least for an year. A child should have nothing other than milk for the first six months and it should NOT even have water! In case of summer the child can be fed a little water. And for one year it is recommended to be fed from the mother with other food items also. I am just wondering how mothers get back to work in 3 or 4 months after the maternity leave. As soon as the child wakes up from sleep, it needs its mother. It cries till it sees its mother. What kind of an excuse do working women give to leave their new born child and go to work? Will they tell "Hmm... it is boring to be in house. I want to kill time"? Of course, they wont tell this blatantly and will usually cover this with more appealing logical statements.
The third kind of reply I get is "With the salary from one person, it is tough to raise a family". What a sweet reply! What does it mean to raise a family? To have a wife/husband and a kid (or kids)? The definition of raising a family stops just when the child is born. In my opinion, it should start after the child is born. Both parents leaving at 9 o'clock and coming back by 5 o'clock and then kissing and hugging the new born child seems disgusting, obscene and despicable. It is at least acceptable when the child is grown and is ready to go to school.
If you can't do that due to financial problem, it just means that you are not yet ready to raise a family. A child who spends its time with either of its parents in a 2BHK would have a fulfilling life than a child who scarcely sees its both parent together in a 3BHK. A child who can only afford Maggi noodles often but being with its parent more would have a fulfilling life than a child who can afford Pizza Hut pizza often but not their parents time. If it is the other case, where the child needs more of the goods than its dad and mother then there is a serious problem in bringing up the child, isn't it?
Thinking more in this subject, I think "I am working very hard to give my child a quality life" is either a lie or stupidity. I sometimes wonder whether people have an intrinsic desire for luxurious items for themselves and they just point-finger their child or married life or retired parents... Well... I want to write more on this topic but my quota for one post was over a long back. If time/mood/situation/courage permits, I would continue in this topic.
