Surprise! A Quarrel!!

Quarrel, the word (or any word which means the same) I hate most in any language. I am not talking about the quarrel that happens in the road, or in the reality shows or in the assembly :), but the quarrel that happens inside our known-people-circle. I don't mean physical fight, but I mean heated arguments, strong disagreements, questioning and criticizing (known) people.

Things which happened in my life made me think more deeply of the nature of quarrels that happen between friends, siblings, colleagues, relatives, and spouse(s) :). The result of my self realization is that, there are absolutely NO surprises in a quarrel we participate, whether you start or respond to it. What I mean by NO surprises is, we know exactly what is going to happen before accusing or abusing or criticizing our friends. Yet, we go ahead and deliver the dialogue which we have rehearsed in our mind to them.

For example, whenever I am going to accuse my friends for not picking up the mobile when I call or not responding to my chat, I know exactly what they will answer. I also know what should I reply for their reply and so on. But still, I do that and get the temporary pleasure to have succeeded in my act I have rehearsed in my mind. Then later, I will apologize for being rude and everything will suddenly become normal. The thing is, many many people fail to do the last step in this act which slowly builds up the bitterness and finally end in a friendship-fatal fight.

How many of you who is reading this, has ever apologized for a fight? Of course, only if the mistake is with you. Or how many of you can accept that the mistake is with you (also) in a fight? Even if you know that the mistake is with you, have you ever been willing to apologize? Simply go and talk something else can solve the problem, but apologizing from the heart will make the situation much much better. I don't have to tell these things. Everybody who reads this is a mature adult. Everybody knows this. But why very very few people follow these things? I have got no clue...

When was the last time you had a surprise in a quarrel, I mean, you expected your friend to respond in a way but he accepted/apologized for the criticism (you must except me ;) ). So, the next time when you are participating in a quarrel... do whatever you want to do... :) I am not going to advice you anything as I perfectly know that, soon after you close this window (if you have read till now :)), you are going to be the same person as you were before reading this... I just wanted to log my self-realization :)

Travelling Tortures

[This post is not advisable for sensitive readers as this post contains abusive strong language. Readers discretion is required]

Everytime, every single time I travel, within minutes, I will want to write a blog about it. Definitely not good about things, but how cruel traveling and transportation has become. But I always give up the idea because all I can write about it will be abusive and full of offensive words. But this time, it has just gone too much. Once again, I have to warn you that this post will contain strong language and not advisable for everyone.

This is how it went on that day:
I had to sit in an aisle seat. The one who occupied the window seat was a friend of the idiots who were sitting in the front row. The moment the bus started, this idiot called the conductor of the bus and asked him to switch on the TV. Bloody Shit! I loathe those guys who are so damn inconsiderate about others and want the volume in the TV should be high in the night journey. But fortunately, the TV was not working. Thank God, you are with me!

But no, God was NOT with me, but Satan was. That idiot was trying to make a lot of lame jokes about the bus as loudly as he can, and the idiots who were sitting in front were laughing as loud as possible. It went on for an hour. Why the hell was he trying so hard to get the attention of others. Bull shit! Actually, my friend does not approve of me to talk offensive words which would not scold the assholes but their family. He would say, "Why to use that word da? You can use (sensored), (sensored), (sensored), (etc.)" :). I would be able to follow that as long as I am confined in Rage I.

After an hour, another group got into the bus. When the bus started moving, one of the guys from that group, took a big cell phone, and started playing songs. WTF!? It was so damn loud that, the idiot who was sitting near me stopped talking. So loud and so noisy. When I was thinking "What the fuck is your problem you asshole!", suddenly, a big noise of belch Yeeaaaarrrrrrppppp. Normally, if we are to belch, we will try to close the mouth and let that gas out of the bus right? But that SoB (I was in Rage II), did that by learning forward and was close to me. My best guess is, he had had Chicken Biriyaani and Butter Chicken Masala some 38 minutes ago. I felt like puking.

After some more minutes, someone called the conductor and told that there are a lot of bed bugs in the seats. Only then I realized that all the time, those were not mosquito bites, but bed bugs bites. What is the scheme God? What do You plan? You want to challenge me that I can't stick to my greeting message in my mobile? But why do You have to do that always in traveling? So, it is a test for me right?

But I decided NOT to write a blog about this. I thought, "It is part of life and I have to put up with these kinds of difficult times. I shouldn't lose my temper and write an offensive blog about these innocent poor people. After all, they are doing this in a desperate attempt to catch other's attention right? I have to understa..." My thoughts were disturbed by another bigger, more powerful, nastier smelling, more offensive Yeeeaaaaaarrrrrrrrppppppp. My thoughts continued as "You (completely sensored Rage III language)"... and result is this blog.

A Story

[This post is not advisable for everyone because of mild sensuality in the content. Readers discretion is required.]

It has been more than a week. The guy had to go out of station for an office trip. He didn't feel or think that it would be painful to be apart from his love, at the beginning. After all, it is not like they have fallen in love recently and that every second, or every minute would seem like hell if he is not with her. Also, it does not mean that he does not care about her. It is something not ordinary people would understand.

It was not easy for him to find her. He had a lot of criteria and preferences. But out of nowhere she came into his life and snap they are made for each other. He had no preferences as to the color, height, weight, etc. After all, external factors matter only for few months (they say) and he knew that. It is the internal beauty he was looking for.

Their idea of romance and love is simply seeing each other with eyes receiving love, touching and feeling each other, and singing together. It does not mean that they don't have fight at all. If she is not responding to him, he gets mad and beats her, but believe me, it wont hurt her and he knew that thoroughly. He would immediately feel sorry and will beat himself, as though it would make her happy, but only to see that she pleads him to stop beating himself. Such love which is scarce existed between them.

During the time they were not together, he would think of her and feel that she was also thinking of him. They didn't need an electronic instrument to talk to each other. He would dial in his mind "my love" and immediately get the answer "I have been counting the seconds to receive this call, my love" from her. Whenever the breeze which touched her came and touched him, he would unconsciously close his eyes, look slightly upwards with palms clutching each other and take a deep breathe. He felt her presence then.

Anyhow, the ordeal was over. He had returned from the trip. He was thoroughly excited when he was opening the door. He didn't make any sound and he wanted to be utterly silent. He knew that she would know if he comes and when he comes. Yet, he would not expect her to run to the door and throw herself over him and kiss him. She was silently waiting in his bedroom. He quietly removed his shoes went into the bedroom. She was still silent. He undressed her, a single touch and she was turned on and he started fondling her.

Without any disruption or distortion or any stumbling, she sang the Fur Elise piece of music in the exact rhythm he wanted to play. Then he tried the other pieces which he knew and everything just flew beautifully. Wow, that one week gap did not make him forget his favorite pieces of music and he had not lost his touch with the music keyboard.

Wishes!

I don't know when I became like that, but in recent years, I really lost the sense and taste of wishing New Year or Pongal or Birthday or Ramjan or Deepavali or Christmas, etc. What do we give or what do we get by uttering "Wish You A Happy *"? I don't know. Hmm... thinking deeply, I can deduce the following as the reasons.

• Having seen a lot of advertisement simply telling "Happy Bull Shit"
• Having seen a lot of people faking hearty wishes when they actually don't give a shit
• Lost the actual interest in any of the festivals and birthdays
• Getting a lot of spam mails sent for 100s or 1000s in BCC via a pre-created group, without even knowing who are all the people present in the group.
  

When I started seeing festivals as the reason for people to do heavy shopping and simply watching TV, I lost hope in that. All we need is an excuse to spend and shop. When the festivals were scarce, it was okay, but now, the consumerism has gone to such an extent that every month will have some festival or some day brothers day, sisters day, fathers day, mothers day, lovers days, atchaya-thrithi, aadi-month, kaarthigai-month, etc. hmm...

But it is not that I don't want to wish people good luck on special day for them. I would like to wish my friends a happy birthday or a happy anniversary day (if they are happy ;)). But, new year, or pongal, or etc. I lost interest.

But anyhow, I have to be a Roman when I am in Rome. For my friends, I wish them good luck in the coming year! I don't want to say the stereotypical "Wish You A Happy New Year". Have fun and enjoy!

Pleae Take Your Seat - A Flashback!

"Please take your seat" said the VP of SBOA HSS and nervously, immediately and moronically I sat on the only seat available and that is one of the most foolish things I have ever done in my life which I can never forget. I was very nervous on that day. It was an interview with the school officials and I was extremely afraid about that.

Having been in a Tamil medium school from 6th to 10th in a very small village and having absolutely no knowledge in English, even studying in Tanjavur or Trichy freaked me out. But I wanted to study in English medium as I thought that would help me have a smooth college life. But Chennai? and that too one of the most reputed schools? I was not ready.

I mugged up the first lesson in Physics fully and I studied a bit in all other subjects also. I had my cousin teaching me. I was ready to answer any 2 marks questions they may ask :). On that interview day, I and my father went to that school. Oh boy... never seen such a big school. My fear reached the maximum.

"What would they ask me? and what should I answer?", I asked my dad (of course, in Tamil). He told me some simple questions they may ask and some simple answer I should deliver. Every moment when I was inside the campus, it lost hope. Even small kids were talking in English. "I am dead", I thought. Finally, my interview was going to start. I and my father went inside the room.

"Please take your seat", said the VP.
"No... not you... Your father!", said another staff who was in there. At the same speed I sat, I stood up and gave the seat to my father. This thing always use to haunt me. 'Why was I so stupid and lame and pathetic?' This was just a beginning. I have done even more amazing comedy in the first few days of my school life.

But, why am I writing this? Because one of my friends had asked me specifically to write things which would humiliate me, and I didn't want to disappoint one of the very few living beings in the world who reads my blog, and so, I am posting this.

Boys Vs Girls

[It is a cheap technique to have the title like this, I know, to attract audience (if at all there are any). But this is a genuine topic I wanted to blog about. This is just a conversation during a breakfast time with my colleague.]

"When I started learning swimming, there would be a lot of girls who would win me easily and I had felt ashamed", told my friend, during a chat about his victories in swimming competitions.
"But after you had mastered, you would have won them very easily right?", I asked.
"Yes, of course man"
"If there is a competition between a girl and a boy, both having the same level of practice and same age, who would win?"
"Obviously the boy, swimming needs a lot of muscular power which boys have more than girls"
"Hmm... I have always wondered, what is the sport or game or anything in which girls have more chances to beat boys?"
"Hmm... (thinking)"
"I think the world champions in carom are girls and that too from India and I think they are from south (no racist intention, but that was purely for information purpose and to prove that my guess would be approved to be right). Since carom does not need any physical power, I think they had won. But why not in chess? Why can't there be a woman world champion? Chess does not need physical strength..."
"Chess needs a lot of thinking, so women can't beat men"
"What? Why not? Is it that men or more intelligent than women"
"Not like that, but, Testosterone, a hormone required for mathematical calculation power, is present in men multiple times more than women" (Later we investigated about this aspect and found that this information is NOT correct. You can refer this link for more information)
"Hmm... too bad... Can you think of anything in which girls are better?... I think girls have more chances to be better in spirituality (completely my guess and could be 200% wrong)"
"Women are the best when it comes to counseling and consoling. Men don't stand a chance"
(by this time, we were done with our breakfast and we started to leave)
"So, is there anything in which you were beaten by a girl", my friend asked me.
"Hmm... during my school life when I was in co-education, I could never manage to get the first rank. It was always a girl who got the first rank"
(at this time, we both realized the fact)
"Man... how come we didn't think about this. Girls... they always beat boys in studies in school. Every year, the pass percentage, the top scorer, everything, girls would top", told my friend and was happy to have found a valid answer.
"It is because, boys spend most of the times thinking about girls rather than the studies :)", I told (in a completely funny note).
Laughing, we both went to start our work!

Evolution of Arranged Marriage - Based on true stories :)

<= 26:

1. Very Beautiful
2. Very Fair
3. Slim
4. Good family
   
5. B.E.
   
6. Non-Working (or Working, based on personal preference)
7. [People who think marriage as business] Should give X Gold, Car

27:

1. Beautiful
2. Fair or Wheatish
3. Decent family
4. B. Sc. Computer Science is okay
   
5. Non-Working (or Working, based on personal preference)
6. [People who think marriage as business] Should give X Gold

28:

1. Beautiful
2. Even if dark, should have good facial features
3. Decent family
4. B.Sc.
5. Working or Non-working, anything is okay
6. [People who think marriage as business] Should give X - Y Gold

29:

1. Decent looking
2. Decent family
3. Any Bachelor degree
4. [People who think marriage as business] Should give X - Z Gold

30:

1. Should be bearable to look at.
2. Decent family
3. At least Higher Secondary
   

31+:

• Only one condition. Should be a female.