[Disclaimer: This post has some contents that is not suitable for everyone. Viewers' discretion is required. Also, this is just for fun and not to hurt anyone. If it is okay, the go ahead, otherwise, click here.]
Though I really wanted to write like the previous blog, as point by point tips to become a mega serial director, I am so much pissed off by the mega serial called "Kolangal" (Rangoli, it means) which is being cast for some years. Suddenly an idea triggered in my mind as to write a blog which will portrait an interview with the director of the serial. Please imagine that I am interviewing the director Mr. TheruChelvan.
I: "Mr. Therushelvam, what is the current situation in your shit called 'Kevalangal'... sorry... 'Kolangal'"?
B. Guy: "Aadi is trying to kill Abi as she is growing in her status"
I: "Well what was the situation a 6 months back?"
B. Guy: "Well, Aadi was trying to kill Abi as she was growing in her status"
I: "Sir, I asked a different question"
B. Guy: "You didn't note that the 'is' became 'was'"?
I: "Sorry Mr. Theru, next question, what was the situation an year back?"
B. Guy: "hmm... Aadi was trying to kill Abi as she was growing in her status"
I: "Oh my God... What was the situation when it was started?"
B. Guy: "hmmm.... oh.... I forgot"
I: "Let me tell you, Aadi was trying to kill Abi as she was growing in her status."
B. Guy: "Wow... you should be my fan..."
I: "(in a low voice) 'Idhukku nee enna keta vaarthai kondiye thiti irukalam...' huhum... next question. Have you seen your face in the mirror ever before?"
B. Guy: "Excuse me???"
I: "No Mr. Theru, when I was 5 years younger and when your serial started, you were loved by Abi's friend, after that, you had a woman in your house who desperately loved you, then even Abi had a crush, then her sister, then a beautiful girl was introduced and she loved you, then a girl from Cylone who was a terrorist liked you... in the very little time I happened to see your serial due to my bad time, I came over so many situation as to all the girls have a crush on you. Why?"
B. Guy: "Don't you know, why?"
I: "Because you are the director?"
B. Guy: "(Shocked and sweating) No... no... the story needed that"
I: "How come the story needs you to have so many crushes even if that remains a constant?"
B. Guy: "Sorry??? Come again..."
I: "Leave it... next question, I have noted that when 2 character talk to each other, they never see each other. They don't even see the camera. They talk to each other by looking at a different angle, person or object. Why is that? Are all the character blind when they talk"
B. Guy: "Show me one mega serial in which characters talk to each other by seeing each other!"
I: "You win. It is the fate of the viewers. Let me go the next question,
I: "Thank God your name is Tholgapiyan in this shit... had it been Ponniyinselvan or something, your serial might have got an A rating"
B. Guy: "Why are you saying that?"
I: "I knew you wont understand. If you had had that much brain in your head, you should have finished the serial a decade back"
B. Guy: "..."
I: "Leave it... next question, in the very less times I had seen your serial, 100s of attempts were made to kill Abi by minister, rowdies, professional killers, police, etc (sorry if there are a lot of tautologies here) but none of them succeeded. Is it because, Abi is a Goddess or the rowdies and others are lame or the people who watch are fools in your opinion? But I think the first option is obviously wrong and the second option should also be wrong as they are showed killing others easily and we are left with only one option. What is your views"
B. Guy: "hmm... could you repeat the question?"
I: "(thinking) 'Go fuck yourself'... Leave it... let me go the next question, You have brought back a character called 'Karthik' who was Abi's sister's lover. A few years back when I saw him, he was mental patient... but I was shocked to see him 2 days back in a nice coat suite... You can say he is a software engineer or he has got a distant relative in Mysore, but, my question is, why is he struggling to talk in Tamil? Also, does he have any problem with his tongue? or Neck? I didn't understand what he talks for most of the time"
B. Guy: "I can't do anything if you don't know Americal English accent"
I: "Oh... I am sorry... my bad... please put in text in the bottom of the screen that 'Mr. Karthik is now talking english in American accent. Don't pity him thinking that he has got sprain in his tongue'. That will help innocent people like me. Well, that has also answered my other question. The latest villainess also has trouble in speaking... but now I realize that is also American engleepish... next question, for about centuries, Aadhi was showed as the main villain, but now, a new character was introduced and she happens to be looking very good and wears glamorous dresses, is portrayed as the top priority villain. What made you change this?"
B. Guy: "Well... haam... what can I say??? hmm.... for one reason, the serial should prolong till eternity..."
I: "That we know by the nature... answer my question"
B. Guy: "hmm... you can have like she satisfies me with her hard work"
I: "You bloody son of a bitch... this is the interview seen by 1000s of families and you are blatantly talking like this... You..."
B. Guy: "No... no... I said she acts well... no... no..."
And all cameramen and others come and stop me from hitting him and the interview is over in the middle. So, if possible, if the people who see half of the interview want the other half also, the rest of the interview will be taken.
[The director is nicknamed as B. Guy meaning Brilliant Guy and not anything else, anything bad.]
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