Sunday, February 05, 2012

Along Came Another Friend

[It is my custom to dedicate the first few lines of my post to simply blabber about something which is completely irrelevant to the topic, especially, if I have given some gap between the posts, which will repulse the few people who start to read my blog. I had written 98 posts (excluding this one) and in the hurry to reach 100 posts, I wrote some very junk posts which I resented and disliked, which eventually made me to stop writing. I am sorry about that.]


Image: bulldogza /

"Which group of friends you relish more in your life?" is a cliche topic everyone would have discussed/listened. Are the friends you got during your school life? College life? During your professional life? (and now there is a new group called internet/online friends) whom do you think is the closest and best?  If someone says 'the friends you get during your school life is the best. bla bla bla. bla.' or if they say about college friends or whatever, I usually say Yes. Though, I don't agree in my mind.

The reason I don't agree is, it does not matter when and how you formed a friendship with someone. All that matters is, what is the current behavior/character/lifestyle of both of the people involved (for example, if either yours or your friend's character has changed, the friendship will obviously deteriorate) and how much time you are able to spend with/for your friendship.

Now, coming to a completely different topic: As far as I know, anyone who resigns from their job will feel very sad and upset towards the end of last working date, even though they would have tried very hard to leave the company. Towards the end, no matter how much anyone detested their company (when I say company, it is 99% of the time, their manager), they will feel sad mostly because of leaving their friends and a little bit because of loyalty towards the company.

Recently, one of my close friends, left his company and was terribly upset the day before the LWD (last working day). When I was chatting with him and consoling him, I got the feeling that he is going to miss all the good friends in the company. I said to him, 'don't worry... you will get good friends and you will have good time in your new company'. He replied, 'no... I am not going to get close to anyone'. It is a typical feeling when you are losing/leaving/missing something close, right?

Most of the times, it is inevitable to lose some close friendship (I mean friendship, not the friend...). In your life, no matter how hard you try, how many compromises you make, how many risks you take, it is inevitable to lose some close friendship, friendship which would have meant almost the world to you, be it the school friends or college friends or professional friends (professional friends... funny phrase... I mean the friends you got in your professional life).

C'est la vie... But, as long as you are of your natural self, you will always get new friendships. You can't resist it. You can't stop it. It is the innate nature of the humans to want to be friends with people. Along will come another friend. Will the friendship get stronger and survive for a long time? Now, that is in your hand.

Image: creativedoxfoto /


Dobby Severus Salazar said...

Recently I had been wondering. If I disappear from my friends' radar will they miss me or not. I kept telling myself that most probably, their own life will catch on, and they wouldn't bother about you for long.

Those few precious friends I had in my college are non-existent today. I don't even want to meet them again for it, there is no communication and everybody is selfishly moving on with their life.

When my nephews asked me three of my best friends' name, I stumbled for a minute. Had to extract 3 names from those who are still in contact. And many who were close even a year before, never even cam e to my mind.

Time is a force we can't fathom.

You touched upon an interesting topic, especially people nearing their thirties would've seen the phases of life already and would understand much better.

Then, what language is "C'est la vie"?

Sinduja said...

@Dobby: It is French! And means 'that is life' :)

@Amudhan: Welcome back! Phew, where did you go? Such a long break because of a few bad posts?

Yet another beautiful reflection of life from you. I agree with everything you said. In my theory, every single person we are supposed to meet and know in life is already determined and somehow through some means we will meet them and know them. So, no phase is ever going to be really lonely for long for most people.

As for the school friend being the best theory, I feel it might be because these are the friends you shared the most carefree times of life with. Things we do change with each life stage - the conversations we have, the places we go to, the things we do - all these change with every life stage. And school stage is one where we can do some of the best things in life that will stay in the memory longest. So inevitably the people we meet at this stage and do these things with grow more fonder in the mind.

Amudhan said...

Dei... I was not saying that everyone will lose all their close friendships and that no one will miss anyone if he/she stop contacting them. In fact, I wanted to add a few more content saying 'of course, there will be some close friendship that will last till eternity'.

If I don't know you any better, I would have felt insulted when you said you stumbled when asked about best friend's name and you had to extract 3 names... but I am sure you only struggled for the last two names ;)

I too have felt this... friendships that I thought would never sink, had sunk... even after I did everything in my power to save it... And of course, some of the friendship I thought is under risk (friends getting married, settling in US, etc.) are still green as ever...

All I wanted to say is losing some close friendship is inevitable and forming/getting new friendships too...

As for the school friends, you have missed the most important point. During school time everyone is less selfish, less cunning, less acting on survival-of-the-fittest priinciples which everyone gains later on. Those friendships are formed when we were innocent and not corrupted by the life.

My school friends whom I thought I would never lose, I voluntarily lost, simply because their character/lifestyle had changed a lot and not of my liking... And yes, those are the innocent memories and moments I can always cherish and be happy about...

@[Praba & Sindu]:
Thank you so much for your comments.. made me feel like I was not gone at all...

Dobby Severus Salazar said...

@Amudhan: I struggled to list 3 friends of course which doesn't include family or family-like ;-)

And I merely shared my current feelings; but not to agree or disagree with the post.

@Sinduja: Thanks for the pointer.